Creamed Corn
by hoarfrosted
Summary: Two perfectly sophisticated adults getting ready for a date. No stressing or panicking, there completely calm. You're right, no way that could be Vincent and Tifa's date. Oneshot


Disclaimer: I don't claim this game. Or Emeril

In response to Bleuwyn's challenge.

_5:15 P.M._

"You're sure you don't want my help, Vincent?" a girl around the age of twelve asked her uncle.

"No, I have to do this myself," said the man with some confidence.

She looked uncertain. "Okay."

The man turned away from the youth, toward the task at hand. He crouched down, looking inside a small window at his target. With caution, he opened the door to his fate. A dry heat spewed from behind the door, making him squint and almost quit. But he was a man, there was no way he was giving up.

"You have to hurry up."

This was easy, compared to the countless battles he had been in before. So once again, he opened the cavern of hotness to pursue the current object of his desire. He reached inside, his hands growing in heat. Tentatively, he reached out to touch his prey, but pulled back, almost instantly, when he felt a searing pain in his hand.

"You have to-"

"Don't interrupt me, Yuffie, I'm almost there," he said, cutting his niece off.

"But It'd be easier to-"

But she was once again silenced by the rising of his pale hand. "No more."

Yuffie only scoffed and put her hands on her hips.

He was going in for a third try and this time, he was going to do it right. He took a deep breath and quickly reached in and grabbed his prize, pulled it from its housing, and dropped it on the surface. With his mission complete, he promptly turned the heat to 350 F's, walked over to the freezer, and got an ice baggy to put on his burning fingers.

"Vinnie" said the little girl. Said man turned around to see his niece holding burn ointment and . . . oven mitts. He had never felt so stupid in his life. In fact he had never felt stupid at all. How could he forget something as trivial as oven mitts?

He'd always prided himself on thinking things through, going over all pros and cons of a plan, and making sure every step was done in precisely the right way. All that accomplishment down the drain, and for a woman.

A very enchanting goddess of a woman. She was a sensuous lady with long flowing black hair and a wonderful personality. Beautiful legs that go on for miles, not to mention a buxom chest. The temptress obviously had him under a spell.

Yuffie cleared her throat, knocking him out of his daydream. Vincent looked to see the 'Little Girl' rubbing her fingers in a sign of payment and grinning like a Cheshire cat.

He sighed. "Will ten Gil cover it?" he said, digging in his back pocket for his wallet.

"Mmm," the girl pondered, tapping her chin. "Make it fifteen and Cloud is still dumber than you," she said, outstretching her hand.

"Deal," he said and placed fifteen Gil in his niece's hand and put his wallet back. "Now, what do we say?"

"Uncle Vincent masters everything," she said in a monotone voice, too entrapped with her earnings. "So, watcha' makin'?" asked Yuffie as she walked around her uncle to see his creation. Her look of curiosity turned to one of revulsion as she saw the putrid dish.

"Nasty!" Yuffie stuck out her tongue in disgust. "If you expect me to eat this, I'm gonna need some indulgence," she said and started to grin.

Vincent frowned a little. "First of all, young lady, if I tell you to do something, you will do it, and the only indulgence you'll need is a sore derriere and being in your room all day, unless you're going to school, to eat, or to relieve yourself. Because I humor you does not mean you have any authority to tell me what you will and will not do."

Yuffie's smirk dropped. "Second, this fine dish and the ones to be made is not for you, they are for my date this evening."

"EW!" the girl screamed in disgust at hearing about her uncle's love life. She plugged her ears and said "So gross, never again tell me anything related to anything related to your personal relationships. Aren't you too old to date anyway?" She groaned and walked to her room.

Vincent gave a smug look at his accomplishment. She wasn't the only devious one in the family. "Start getting ready to go," he yelled to her, "Cloud should be here to pick you up sometime around 6:25."

"WHAT!" Yuffie screamed. She ran into the room, fast as lightning. "Yuffie's going with who?" already knowing the answer, but hoping she heard wrong.

"You are going with Cloud," Vincent repeated, "a man you will not address as an oblivious, dumb, Chocobo headed blonde."

"That's redundant, the only thing you had to say was that he's a blonde," she corrected him.

The tall man paused to think. "Though that may be true, you still have to respect him, he's an adult, physically," he added as an afterthought.

"Now, go get prepared," he waved her off, "I don't want to scare a potential girlfriend off with the notion that I have an offspring."

"Fine, but you'll regret it," she threatened and stalked out of the kitchen once again.

Vincent threw the bag of ice in the trash and washed his hands. He took a colander and emptied a bag of chicken into it. He put it under the faucet and began to clean the poultry. After that, he took a roasting pan from his dish wrack and emptied the colander of chicken into it, spreading them out evenly.

Walking over to the knife rack, the gunman took one, and a peeled onion, and started to chop it into tiny pieces on a cutting board. He dumped them into the roaster.

"Ok, then she said to . . . ," he trailed off, following previously received directions for cooking chicken, " . . . season it," he took from his spice cabinet salt, seasoning salt, garlic salt, black pepper, white pepper, poultry seasoning, and Emeril Essence.

Vincent started to over flavor the chicken breasts with the spices, and after that, turned the poultry over to do the same with that side. "Then I have to mix it a bit," he mumbled as he used his bare hands to blend the chicken with the seasonings and onion.

The man washed his hands and fetched two bottles of marinade and two cans of chicken broth. Placing them on the island, he contemplated whether to use the Teriyaki marinade or Lemon & Herb. Not being able to choose, he decided to use both and again mixed with the chicken.

The pale man put a top on the roaster and carefully inserted it into the oven. Lastly, Vincent put a pot of rice and water on boil.

"Now . . . shower," he said and jogged to his room.

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_4:32 P.M._

Steam poured out of the bathroom as a young woman stepped out in a pink robe with a 'T' inscribed on the left breast, her black hair wrapped in a towel turban. Her feet made light wet footprints as she into her room.

She looked at her bedside night stand to see the clock. '4:33'. She needed more time, how was she going to find an outfit in less than two hours? Life was so unfair.

She walked to her dresser to take out underwear, sweat pants, a large t-shirt. The woman put on the items and grabbed the phone on her night stand. She held the '2' button and waited for the sound of dialing. She put it on speaker and began walking toward her suite door.

Someone on the other end picked up. _"Hello?" _came a soft voice.

"Hello, Aeris," she responded.

"_Oh, hey Tifa," _she sounded a bit more enthusiastic. "I really need a caller ID," she gave a small laugh.

"Yeah," Tifa was at her front door now. "Hey, can I ask you for a favor?" She already knew the answer.

"_Sure, anything. What is it?" _she inquired.

"I need-" she heard a beeping from the phone. The screen flashed 'Sinclair'. "Hold on, I'm getting a call from Elena. It's about that time, I'll put it on three-way," she said to Aeris and pushed a button on her phone. "Elena?"

"**Oh Tifa!"** Elena began to cry. **"Reno broke up with me, he's such an ass,"** she gave Tifa another wail, and then started to sob.

Tifa started to try to calm Elena down, telling her he wasn't worth it, that she could do better, and that he would be back in no time, begging for her. The martial artist and her spastic friend were already use to Elena and Reno's 'Break-Up Make-Up Every Two weeks' thing they had started since they first started dating, eight months ago.

"Cheer up, Elena. Hey, I'm glad you called, I need yours and Aeris's help for something," she said and grinned.

"**_What?"_** both girls asked at the same time.

"Well, I'm going on a date today, and I need help shop-" she was interrupted by a knocking on her front door. She opened it to see Elena sitting on Aeris's back.

"We had a little wrestling match while we waited for you," Elena explained with a nervous smile. Tifa shook her head and helped her up.

"Who let you in so quickly?" Tifa asked the girls.

"Oh, Ki-Ki did, it's his shift I guess," Aeris said as her best friend helped her up also.

"You know he hates when you call him that," Tifa warned.

"So, not like he's gonna know," Elena said with a wave of dismissal.

"He does now," came a somewhat deep voice from behind the blonde and brown haired girls. Both jumped at the sound and turned to see a man in his late twenties, with vibrant red hair and a Native American headband with feathers.

"Oh, "Aeris laughed nervously, "hey Nanaki, your shift over?"

"Yes," he said. The man nodded his head toward Tifa in acknowledgment, which she in return waved, and walked down the hall to his flat.

"Well, that was weird," Elena scratched her head. " Anyway, lets go!" The trio of women giggled and ran into Tifa's suite to get prepared.

--

_5:39 P.M._

"Guys, I said I needed YOUR help shopping."

About an hour later, Tifa, Aeris and Elena came out of a shoe store in the mall called _Shoes, Sandals, and Heels to Boot_. The blonde and brown haired girls carried more bags of clothes, shoes, and some cosmetics than their ebony-haired friend. There was a sudden tune that the women bobbed their heads to before Tifa dropped her bags and dug inside her purse for her cell phone.

She pulled out the pink communicating device and pushed the 'Talk' button. "Hello? Oh," Tifa giggled girlishly and twirled her hair, "hi Vincent."

Elena and Aeris moved to both sides of Tifa's cell phone to hear the conversation. "Oh, I'm at the mall right now . . . no of course not, I didn't know you could . . . ," she laughed at something he said, " . . . OK . . . yeah, 7:00 it is. See you then," she hung up with a small smile. She turned her head toward her nosey friends, clearing her throat.

Both jumped back, looking embarrassed. "So, what did he say?" they inquired.

Tifa sighed. "He said he was going to cook."

Elena and Aeris frowned. "Are you sure you're not gonna eat out?" asked Aeris.

"Don't worry, Vincent's a perfectionist, no way he'd do anything bad. Wanna see his picture?" Tifa asked, already searching through her purse for the image. Aeris and Elena crowded her again. She took out a picture of a palish man with long black hair and a serious face.

Instantly there were screams of, "Hottie," and, "Nice pick," from Elena and, "Woah," and, "Does he have a twin brother?" from Aeris.

"See, he is why I need help shopping," she explained her afore mentioned request.

Aeris and Elena looked her over. "Okay, we're gonna need a sexy dress," said Aeris while the friends picked up their bags and took an escalator to the second level of the shopping center. "Ooh, right there," the brown haired woman pointed to a store with mannequins adorned in slim dresses.

Upon walking in, they saw an array of formal and casual ensembles, a few women scattered in places, and an inattentive blonde woman reading a magazine at the register. The girls walked in, picking out dresses, mostly for Tifa, that seemed to fit their style. At the end they had at least twelve dresses for Tifa, and four for themselves.

They went to an open changing room an started trying the attires out. Elena took three dresses for herself and Aeris had one. Tifa couldn't decide between a red skirt or a black and white pinstriped one. "How about this?" the blonde woman shoved a blue skirt with a flowing bottom that went to her knees and a V-cut neckline that showed a modest amount of cleavage.

The ebony haired girl looked in the mirror and instantly loved it. It was neither elegant, nor casual. It didn't make her look like a slut, and it still made her look good, showing her womanly attributes. In other words, it was perfect. She'd have to compliment Elena on her awesome taste.

In a few minutes, the girls were at the front counter with their items. After a few seconds, Aeris cleared her throat to get the cashier's attention. The woman behind the counter sighed and put down her magazine. "Yes?" she asked, annoyed.

"We would like to purchase these items," Aeris said with a sugary sweet voice, masking her irritation.

"Really? No one's ever bought anything here before," the woman said in mock astonishment and began ringing up the clothes. "483.36 Gil," she held her hand out. Tifa stopped her friends and pulled out her credit card, intending to pay for the purchases with her own money as a thank you.

The snooty cashier snatched the card and rung it up. Tifa punched in her PIN number and snatched her card back from the woman and put it in its place. The woman behind the counter bagged their things sloppily and dropped them on the counter. "Have a nice day," she said with no feeling.

"Thank you. Oh, and don't worry," Tifa looked at the woman's name tag, "Scarlet, I'll let your manager know of your hospitality."

"He isn't here today," Scarlet smirked.

"Oh, I know. It's Marlene's birthday, Barret wouldn't miss it for the world." Tifa grinned and walked out. The cashier gasped as the friends walked out with a high-five.

"Nice job," Elena congratulated.

"Thanks, so what's next?" the ebony haired woman asked.

Elena and Aeris gave her an evil look. "Lingerie!" they screamed and grabbed her arms.

"WHAT!" Tifa yelled, and she was dragged off by her "friends."

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_6:19 P.M._

Vincent examined himself in the mirror. He was clothed in a blood red dress shirt, rolled up above his elbows and the top two buttons unfastened, black slacks and dress shoes. He hoped he wasn't overdressing, he didn't want to appear as an uptight stiff, if he hadn't already. Maybe he should change, but it was too late, he had to set the table.

Ok, hair combed, breath fresh, body and clothes clean, everything seemed to be in perfect order. His recent absence of mind obviously had him stressing over everything. This female had made him make a fool of himself more than once.

He banged his head on his head board trying to get up to get started on everything for her. He had burned his fingers cooking for her. And, his phone wouldn't work because he rushed to call her and put his phone on his sopping wet hair, instead of drying off after his shower.

Oh yes, Vincent had a feeling that this was what the woman did to men, probably why she was single. They couldn't handle it, but he would over come the enigmatic barrier that encompassed Tifa.

Tifa. That name had him envisioning the mantrap once again. Her beautiful smile that drove him up the walls and those luscious curves. She clearly worked out or something to have that body.

"Wow, you're really snazzed up, Vinnie," Yuffie said from her position at his doorway, prepared to go. Vincent jumped at the sound of her voice. What was she doing here? She was supposed to already be leaving with Cloud.

"What are you doing here?" he rushed her out of his room and toward the front door of his apartment. "And why are you wearing shorts? It's the middle of Fall."

"Hold up," the girl planted her feet firmly on the ground, briefly losing balance. "In case you haven't noticed, Cloud isn't here yet."

"What? Where is he?" Vincent cursed the foolish senile man. Out of nowhere, they heard a sneeze from the other side of the door. Vincent opened to see said man rubbing his nose.

"Hey guys, sorry I'm late. I had to-"

"Yes that's nice, now be back by eleven, take her and get out," he interrupted. He pushed Yuffie into Cloud's arms and shuffled them out, closing the door behind them. He leaned against the door and sighed. With her gone, nothing could go wrong.

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_6:42 P.M._

Tifa was rushing to apply a light touch of make-up. She had failed her first try and had to start all over.

After getting home, Reno had called Elena and Aeris had to fly to Mideel in the morning, so they both left. Tifa had taken another shower, put on her new blue dress, and was now at the current task.

After smacking her lips to spread her pink lipstick over her bottom lip, Tifa cut off her bathroom light and went to get her purse. Luckily, she had a handbag that matched her attire. Making sure she had her room key, she grabbed her velour jacket and ran out of her front door, it automatically locking behind her, and to the elevator.

Pushing her destination and the door close buttons, she waited for the funny feeling in her stomach to stop and ran out of the doors. She greeted the doorman present and asked him to hail a taxi. In a few seconds, she was on her way to Vincent's place.

Tifa hoped that she wasn't going to be late, she wanted to be early for a man like Vincent. From previous conversations and actions, he seemed to be a perfect man. He complimented her, always showed manners unlike others of his gender, and always seemed to be so calm, cool, and collected. Though when he asked her out he did blush and stutter a little.

She really didn't want to disappoint him. He was the catch of a lifetime, and she wasn't going to mess up her chance before she had one. This was her first potential boyfriend in a month, and he was a tall, handsome, sexy man.

Tifa was snapped out of her reverie by the cab's screeching tires. She looked at the building Vincent was residing in. It looked a lot nicer than other apartments she had seen around Midgar. She took some Gil out of her purse and handed it to the taxi driver, getting out of the car and running up the stoop of the building. She pressed the buzzer that said 'Valentine' and waited.

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_6:58 P.M._

Vincent lit the last candle and extinguished the burning match. There, he had set the table just in time. Chicken and rice, creamed corn, a salad, and Red wine. 'Yes, yes and yes,' he thought as he remembered the section in his etiquette classes about preparing tables.

The ringing of his buzzer made his heart beat faster. She was here! Now what? The buzzer rang again, she was waiting for him. He rushed to his responding button.

"Hello?" he had to make sure it was her.

"Hey, it's Tifa," her voice sounded more melodious than the last time he had heard it. He pushed another button on the device to let her in the building. He waited until he heard the light sounds of heels clicking against the hardwood floor.

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_7:03 P.M._

Tifa walked up to Vincent's room, inspecting the structure along the way. The walls were covered with many different shades of cream going in a pattern and the floor looked like it had just been mopped. It was almost as nice as her hotel.

When reaching his door, she gave a small knock as to not wake someone if she had the wrong room. The door opened and she saw her current love interest's face looking as insouciant as ever. Though she loved his gentlemanly ways, she wished his jaw would drop at least once. It would tell her that he found her attractive.

"Hey!" She smiled brightly and embraced him tightly. No twitching of his hand, or widening eyes, just a regular hug from him. One more try. He offered to take her coat and she permitted him to. After hanging it on a rack, Vincent turned around and Tifa flipped her hair over her shoulder and smiled again. His reaction was to smile and take her to the table.

This was going to be hard.

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_7:05 P.M._

God damn did she look sexy in that dress, it hugged her body in all the right. And that seductive smile she flashed, she had no idea of the things she did to him. Vincent was not willing to relay any of those feeling she invoked, as to protect his image. But it was hard, it was almost as if she was trying to make him aggravated.

He would not do anything that made him look like a male with primitive needs. He was determined to win her heart and if the calm, stoic, boring man was what Tifa wanted, that was what she was going to get.

Vincent took her arm in his and led her to his perfectly set-up table, pulled her seat out as she sat, and pushed it back in.

"Wine," he offered. Tifa nodded and he poured the liquid into her glass and his, and took the seat across from her.

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_7:07 P.M._

Tifa looked at the dishes Vincent had prepared, one in particular caught her eye. Hoping it was okay, she served her self some of the delicious creamed corn first and tasted it. Her expression was one of delight at first, then it turned to one of depression.

She could feel Vincent panicking. "What's wrong? Is it revolting?"

"No, no, it's delectable. It's just . . . never mind, I don't want to bring you down," she put on a fake smile and began to serve herself more food.

"You can tell me," Vincent gave her an unyielding stare.

Tifa sighed. "It's really stupid. You see, my dad used to make this all the time and it tastes exactly like yours, well, yours is better," she gave a small laugh and began to eat more.

"Did something happen to him?"

"Yeah, he died about seven years ago in a fire."

"So you lived with your mother?"

"No, she died twelve years before that in the Nibel mountains. I went to go live with one of my friends, Zack, and his parents in Gongaga," she answered. "So, who were your parents?" she asked and took another bite.

"My mother was full Wutain, and my dad is from Midgar. They live in Wutai near my half-brother." he replied and took a sip of wine.

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_7:55 P.M._

Vincent and Tifa had finished eating and were currently talking about friends, family, jobs, and their pasts.

So far Vincent knew that she was a pianist, after quitting her job as a kick boxing instructor. His gender had once been a factor of disappointment in her life. She had explained about her two best friends and some of their antics. And also about a girl that was in her care for five years, Marlene, while her dad was away.

Vincent had relayed to her about how he was the ninth in a line of Vincent Valentines. He had told her about his past love and brother and friends. Reluctantly, he told her about his current charge and how she was a pain in the neck.

They had talked for a while and he was beginning to lose interest in words and he had began giving her short answers. He just hoped she wasn't bored as he was.

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_7:55 P.M._

Tifa was bored out of her mind.

Vincent hadn't tried a single thing all night. They had eaten and talked and laughed and talked and drank and talk. In fact, there was no indication that the man found her remotely attractive. Maybe he meant a date for friends or something, because it didn't seem like he liked her.

Tifa mentally shook her head. She couldn't believe where her thoughts were straying. She actually wanted him to make a move on her? If a man tried anything, grabbed her ass, wet her shirt, or asked her to bed, they most likely ended up black, blue, and red all over. And now she was angry because a guy wasn't giving her the time of day.

She looked up and realized that Vincent had stopped talking and was looking at her. She had forgotten what he was talking about,and had no idea why he stopped. Did he ask a question?

"Uh, I'm sorry, what were you saying?" she tried.

"Don't worry, I understand, you're not interested," he smiled but she could tell that he was a little hurt.

"No Vincent, I am." What had she done? Well, besides not paying attention to him, but that was minor.

"Don't worry about it, just tell me what went wrong."

"What?" she asked.

"What went wrong with this date, and be shrewd," he waited for her answer.

"Nothing went wrong, this was a perfect friend date, the food, the-"

"Wait a minute, friend date?" he asked incredulously.

"Yeah, it was meant to be that, right?" Now everything in her head was jumbled.

"I had in no way intended for this engagement to be for acquaintances," he explained.

'WHAT' Tifa wanted to yell out, but settled for, "It didn't appear to be that way. You showed as much interest in me as a brother would a sister. There was no romance implied. I thought you were a bit more fun since you were at a club."

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_8:00 P.M._

Vincent was speechless, all the thoughts he had kept in his head was actually what she wanted to hear? The comments he had kept to himself would have made her happy?

"Wait . . . I thought you despised those things so I kept them to myself." Did he just say that? He had just told her that his thoughts were the same as all other males.

"Really? I thought you were really shy or nice or didn't like me as much I liked yo-" she stopped and her eyes widened. At least she liked him.

"So, you do like me?" He had to make sure.

Tifa blushed. "Of course. You're so sweet, you cooked dinner, you actually listened to me, and you care about what I think. I'm glad we got to do this," she smiled.

"Me too. So, when are you going to be back?" he referred to her concerts. He grabbed her coat from the hook and put it on her.

"Three weeks. I'll be going to the North Continent and then Kalm. See you then?" she asked with hope.

"Of course." Before he do anything, she had given him a light kiss on the lips and left with a bye. Vincent stood there for a while before bringing down his arms in victory.

He was going to get Cid so much tea.

* * *

I didn't like the ending to much. 


End file.
